Our Self-Care Guide is based on the conversations with over a hundred survivors, and what they said helped them.
These survivors include our founder, who wrote this guide.
Self Expression
Write and/or journal. Talk about how you feel - with a therapist, close friend, advocate. Writing my story down help me enormously. Or do something to express yourself physically - eg, a piercing or tattoo if that’s your style, or new clothes/hair might help.
Support Network
Talk to people you can trust. A support network of people who care about you and people who understand the dynamics of assault/abuse is crucial. A therapist and/or a gender violence advocate may be a helpful addition to your support network.
If someone’s actions don’t feel helpful or they don’t have the capacity to help, reduce time when them when you’re triggered/your trauma feels top of mind.
Mindfulness
Meditation. Gratitude journal. Long Walks. All of these were ultimately the most helpful for me.
Exercise/Dance/Physical Activity
Work out anger and rage, work through panic/anxiety, get your endorphins flowing.
Therapists/Advocates
Find a therapist that you resonate with. Look into different modalities, such as somatic therapy or EDMR. If you cannot afford one, your state, eg California, may reimburse you. The National Sexual Assault hotline (1-800-656-4673) can point you to local resources, and/or you can find advocacy services in your area, or if you’re a university student, your campus is likely to have an advocacy program.
Positive Affirmations
It was not your fault. You are strong, stronger than you think. You matter, and your feeling matter. Love yourself, and tell yourself you do. When I felt I couldn’t get out of bed/move, I would imagine my future/healed self hugging and reassuring my current/traumatized self. Listening to inspiring stories of other survivors overcoming their traumas might help.
Channel Anger/Anxiety
Watch a revenge film/read a revenge fantasy (I bookmarked this) . Or the opposite: read/watch something heart-warming, like this, or maybe a light-hearted rom-com/family movie/comedy/show.
New or old hobbies
Do something you love or enjoy, or can focus your energy/thoughts on. Learn a new skill, which could help with self-worth.
Remember that your healing journey is your own
Some survivors will have minimal reactions, some more severe. Many will react more/less based on their support network, personal history, and most of all, the reaction of their community (including their friends, family, workplace).
In your personal life, don’t talk about it unless you want to, when you want to, and with who you want to. It’s okay to tell people you’re not okay. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to have and express emotions (hopefully in a healthy way, but that may not be the case). Seek help if and when you need it. Please know you are important, worthy, and loved.